Sunday, June 24, 2012

Strong and Courageous.

Hello all!

Sorry about the long lapse of posts. The last half of this week was insanely busy at work and it left me completely unable to write once I got home. The mental energy involved in training people this week was more than I expected.

I won't try to summarize everything that has gone on, I'll just give you some highlights. When I was first planning out my time frames for my workouts and how many rest days I would need per week, I neglected to account for those days when I am naturally in a lot of pain and would prefer to remain in a fetal curl if at all possible. Nothing that kills any woman, it just feels like it's trying to kill you is all. So Thursday night I did my yoga, despite my body screaming at me not to, and come Friday I could not get out of bed. I ate breakfast and took three Aleve and then went to work. So I missed a workout on Friday and Saturday. I am going to try to do some yoga tonight. I found a YouTube video of some stretches for your hips and IT Bands which help alleviate knee pain and tightness. I'm going to try to go through them, even though they do look super challenging. Nutritional highlights, we had some thin crust pizza on Thursday night. As it turns out, the smell of pizza is delish to me still, but I don't really like it anymore. As I am finding with most junk food that I used to love, it doesn't settle well and I don't want to eat it even though it still smells good. The taste is no longer appealing to me either. The take away here is that my palate is changing and I don't want that food as much!!! This is a good memory to keep in my mind for the next time that I have some sort of craving. I did have some chocolate on Friday, shocker. It is still delicious. I don't want to live in a world where chocolate is no longer delicious to me.

So in the midst of being super stressed and busy this week, one thing kept coming back to me. It is frightening to put myself out here this way. It's so very public. There is nothing to hide behind. And unlike someone who may have a struggle that is easily concealed, being overweight is anything but easily concealed. It is terrifying to consider failure, but I am also trying to forge into unknown territory for me. In my adult life, I have never not been plus-sized. The last few days were hard because I was stressed and I was tempted to eat my way through it. But I wasn't tempted to quit because I kept meditating on this passage of scripture:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Now I know this instruction was given to Joshua, but it speaks to me every day that I choose to fight the good fight. Not only am I commanded to be strong and courageous, I am commanded to not be terrified or discouraged. Kind of perfect if I let it sink in .It's not that fear won't present itself to you. It's that when it knocks, you don't invite fear in and let it make itself at home The beauty of it is that I don't have to worry about summoning the courage and strength within myself, my supply of both is finite and fleeting. I am strong and courageous because God is with me wherever I go. And that is beautiful, and comforting, and far too magnificent for my words to describe.


Yoga, from YouTube, we'll see if I can go through these movements. If not I'll go back to the BL Weightloss Yoga video with Bob Harper.


Breakfast: Bacon, avocado, and tomato with half a lime. Coffee and H&H with Splenda.

Lunch: Salmon, steamed cauliflower. The steamed cauliflower is way more bland than I imagined. Needs other flavors. 

Dinner: Chicken in tomato sauce with fresh basil and rosemary.

Do not be terrified and do not be discouraged. Thanks for being here with me.



1 comment:

  1. I read what you write and can't imagine how you are NOT terrified--because it IS scary to step out, publish words and be so honest. I am amazed by you! Just DOING what you're doing is something most people are too scared to do, let alone tell the world about it! Any time we're out of our comfort zone, the enemy will torment us about giving up. Stand strong, sister!! You are a winner!!
    Your palate is changing, wow!!! I wish I could lose my taste for some things (including pizza) but I, too, can't imagine not liking chocolate.
    P.s. Today as I read this is my mom's 17th year anniversary of being cancer-free and that Joshua verse was 'her verse' surrounding her surgery. We'd be out and about and she'd have me read it to her over and over again. I loved reading that in your post today! :)